where my head's at

just felt like throwing out some random stuff about my state of mind today, and as of late

-music is essential to my days, thus why i dislike the radio... because it rarely matches up with the mood i'm in, or more importantly the music i even enjoy in the first place

-change is good. pushing out negativity/worrying in favor of optimistic & uplifting reactions to what each day throws at you. changing habits, like less soda & more water.. or just taking a step back to just say no sometimes, for your own sake.. and being able to take a breather for some quality me-time

-i still struggle sometimes with just being content overall... there's days i rely far too much on other people, or on the weather, or on what song gets stuck in my head... or any number of things that are all well-and-good, to an extent. i love the days where i'm able to brush all that to the background, and just enjoy me for me.. because it's how God intended me to be

-i love my new phone, but the battery life is rather frustrating... looking into getting an extended battery. or just not using the stupid internet on my phone haha. that may also help

-complaining is another thing i'm working on. i only seem to really do it while at work, and that has such an adverse effect on how my co-workers see me. i've built such a good standing with so many of them, and had so many amazing conversations about my faith.. my relationship with Mary.. and so many other topics in life.... i'd hate to tarnish that by my nonsensical complaints about the dumbest things

-speaking of Mary.. I've never known someone who's kept me so grounded, and brings out the absolute best in me like she does. i feel so comfortable & not pressured in any way when i'm around her. i feel like i had lost hope in someone like her ever coming along, or that someone could ever see so eye-to-eye with me on how we react to life itself. the seamless transitions between the randomness & laughter, to the deeper-connections and amazing conversations we have... its still hard to fully put into words. i thank God daily for having her in my life, and how undeserving but completely blessed I feel

-outback steakhouse is delicious. i had almost forgotten how good their food was. 'nuff said.

-and in closing, i need more sleep. i don't believe i have insomnia, because i can fall asleep at any time of the night... it's just a matter of turning off the tv, or the laptop, or whatever i'm reading.. and just having some self-discipline for my own sake. it's unhealthy and the lack-of-sleep has alot to do with how easy it becomes during the day to fall victim to complaining & negativity

(aaaaand i'm done! for now... haha)