Slang Of The Day

[ Weak Sauce ] -

Describes an event or object that lacks intensity and/or fails to fully accomplish its purpose. Used to degrade, or convey ones dissatisfaction in something.

ex. That concert was weak sauce, I can't believe I paid to see it








Now go make use of this newfound knowledge, in the form of such hip slang, and use it in conversation! You'll feel all special and fuzzy inside. I promise.

Toddlers + Rave Music = Instant Win

Just wait 'til this little dude starts pointin' his fingers and stompin' his foot to the beat.

Priceless.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

accident prone and loving it

This isn't anything new.. or some profound conclusion I've reached... but good grief, I'm accident prone.

here's my latest









What caused this.. you ask? Why.. playing man-hunt, of course! (think hide-and-seek... but on a bigger scale... and with college-age kids and above) It's silly, I know... but honestly, I wouldn't trade times like this for anything. Now don't get all freaked out and suddenly think "wow Jake, you're a sick freak who enjoys pain!"... because that's not the case. The point I'm trying to make is.... whether I get hurt doing stuff like this or not... it's worth it. Day in and day out... I see people who have fallen into the mundane flow of their daily routine, whatever that may be, and can't do anything but complain about how bored they are... or how there "isn't anything to do around here". I'm sorry, but have you completely lost touch with your imagination? Or the will and desire to put forth effort in looking for something to do beyond the usual? Because trust me... there is PLENTY to do (within reason, and appropriateness... lol... don't go rob a bank, or break into the Norfolk Zoo... etc etc). Look beyond the blah and the typical everyday activities and actually try to bring some excitement to that routine of yours. Now... I know not everyone has the same level of imagination or randomness as me, or several others I know... but still... it's completely within reason.

Now, stemming from that point.... it really frustrates me to see friends (who have realized that there's definitely an alternative to the norm, and succeed in having genuine clean fun on a regular basis) turn their backs on this knowledge and just fall in line with what everyone else is doing.... whatever that may be... I'll leave it to your imagination, or lack thereof. Now.. I know I can't force anyone to do or not do something.... but nonetheless... it's still frustrating to see people choose to settle for less... or let bad habits and worldly expectations determine how they act and what they do. I saw myself falling in line, or heading that way, back in high school... and made a point to stop right then & there... and do something about it. I look back at myself then, and look in the mirror now... and it really feels like 2 different people, in a sense. Yes, part of what I'm getting at is on a spiritual level... in terms of my faith and my relationship with Christ... but another part of what saying is on a simple level of human logic, and breaking the mold of what the world expects of us as human beings. Sometimes I just wish it was as simple as smacking someone upside the head and saying "STOP IT!".... and that be enough..... but clearly and obviously it's not that easy.

Do something today that's out of the norm. Take that small step to chip away at the blah routine of whatever may be keeping you down on a daily basis. Eat your favorite cereal from when you were 6 years old. Sing your heart out while driving, no matter what the person in the car next to you may think... or how you sound. Wear a ridiculous t-shirt, or some absurdly 80's sunglasses. Just... do... something. A small step is better than not stepping out at all.

There's more to life than what you may encounter... I promise.

And to those of you that I am around each week... that I laugh along with, sing/dance along with, share random moments of ridiculousness with, pray with, learn from, talk to... anything at all. I cherish our friendship, whatever level of depth it may have. I'm who I am because of Christ, and Christ has blessed me with some of the most outstanding, unique, bold, hilarious, interesting, and amazing friends that stretch far beyond anything I can imagine sometimes. I wouldn't trade any of the memories we've shared for anything... and I can only hope I mean a third-as-much to you all, as you mean to me.

(feel free to grab some nearby tissue... potential tear-jerker moment, I know)

"Wow, Jake... all of that from a nasty leg wound?".... yes. All of that from a nasty leg wound. Hopefully it made some coherent sense... I tend to ramble, and it's 2am or so.... sooo yep.

Welp, those are my thoughts for the night / early morning. I hope to see more of you breaking that silent-blog-reader mold and leaving some comments! I think I disabled the requirement to have a blogger account so that more people can leave comments... but nonetheless, it's never a bad thing to have one.

Okay seriously, I'm done. G'nite.

The Quantum Of.... wait... what??

Hopefully you've seen [ this trailer ] by now (for the new James Bond movie coming in Nov 08)... if not, watch it now.

And THEN! Watch the following video that mashes together a comedy classic w/ the audio from that trailer.

stealth readers

so... how many people out there are actually reading this?

show yourselves! leave a comment/remark/reply.. whatever you wanna call it

feedback in the blog world is like somebody giving you a high five... or maybe even a cookie

plus... it doesn't take all that long to sign-up, or whatever is required to leave comments... you're already online, so you don't have anything better to be doin.. and you know it!

DNA tests are a buzzkill

Let me start off by saying this.... how unbelievably sweet would it be if Bigfoot was confirmed as real???

You may be thinking to yourself... "Jake, that's ridiculous. There is no way a species of giant ape men is hiding in the woods all over the country." Well I respond to such remarks by saying... why NOT?? I mean, seriously. Think about all of the uncharted wilderness all over the world... or even just the vast areas of land that aren't frequented too often by people... it's totally possible.

Maybe I'm just a fan of wishful thinking. I do, in fact, have a very active imagination... so naturally I would be in favor of such a crazy idea, like the existence of Bigfoot. It would be completely cool to see a real one just hanging out in the woods.. eating berries... lifting giant trees for exercise... maybe chasing deer for fun... who knows!

The reason I'm talking about this is because 3 men in Georgia claimed to have proof, in the form of a body, so as to prove that Bigfoot is totally real. I stumbled upon this news the other day, and a news conference was held today to discuss the find and to provide results of a DNA test (... I'm honestly not too sure how much good a DNA test would do.... it's not like we have a sample, on file, of sasquatch DNA). Welp, the results came in showing 4% of it was human and the other 96% was.... possum??? Talk about random. So either this truly is a hoax.. and the 3 guys killed a bunch of possums and stuffed a Bigfoot costume with possum meat...... OR it's legit, and Bigfoot's DNA is similar to that ugly rodent. I have no clue... but either way... I'm just gunna keep on thinking in a wishful manner. Bigfoot is real in my book. 'Nuff said.

Hopefully you weren't completely bored out of your mind (if you read this, beyond the first sentence haha)... I just felt like sharing my interest in the crazier things in life, such as a sneaky ape man running around the woods.

[ meanwhile ]

Phelps is one step closer to breaking Spitz's record.... Sunday is the big day. Get hyped.

Bigfoot may not be proven to be real yet, but Phelps basically proves that superhuman mermaid-like people are very real.

On that note, I'm gunna consider sleeping now.... g'nite!

its that time of the year

summer winding down? college kids heading out or preparing to do so? the summer Olympics, even?

nope.... haircut time.....

it's less and less traumatizing every time i take the plunge from shag to shortness

welp, that is all. now go back to watching the Olympics.

facts/statements o' the week

Ya ready? 'Cuz here they come...

1. Michael Phelps is Aquaman. Make it happen, Warner Bros. Also, France should definitely change their national flag to a plain white flag o' defeat after that in-your-face victory by the U.S. in the 400m relay. Boo. yah.

2. T-minus 8 days until "Dance Or Die".... and Family Force 5 will be in VA Beach on October 7.... GLORIOUS!

3. The Dark Knight landed in the 3rd slot for all-time box office totals.... re-build the Titanic, 'cuz a bat-shaped iceberg is even closer to sinking that ship again. Aid the cause and go see the movie again... you know you wanna.

4. When in doubt, declare the floor "lava"... and respond accordingly. And don't you dare let any balloons land on the "lava"... or all hope is lost.

5. If and when I create a list of things I want to do before I die.... count on one of those things to be "slapping an elephant seal and running". How cool could that possibly be, you ask?
Just watch - ( click HERE ! )

WiFi Relaxation

So here I am.. sitting outside on my 3-week old laptop... utilizing the free WiFi @ City Center as I kick back and enjoy the breeze. The set-up is pretty ridiculous.... I'm sitting at a random fold-up table, with folding chair included, overlooking the fountain. It's almost like a makeshift office, with a superb view and the perfect temperature. Pssh, I could even bust out my outlet-charger and plug-in to the little box across from me that's under a tree.

Have I reached a new low? I think not. This is just about the most relaxed and at peace I've been in awhile.... it's excellent. Sure, people are giving me strange looks as I sit here in my "office"... but uh... shame on them. They don't even KNOW!

........ I just hope the sprinklers don't come on.











aaand that's all for now...

- J a k e -

say it with me... perseverance!

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Deuteronomy 31:8

Phew.. I need that tattooed on my forearm, as a constant reminder to ball up everything that's causing any hint of worry/fear/frustration in my life.. and just let it all go (easier said than done, i know)

Regardless, I'm content in knowing that everything happens for a reason... whether it's something I realize & learn from a week later... or something that comes full circle 4 years later and hits me like a brick to the forehead. Life is a constant struggle... we're either recovering from a battle, in the midst of one, or preparing for the next... it's all in how you prepare yourself. I find my peace in the fact that I'm not alone in anything I face. God will always provide a means to overcome.. and I couldn't be more uplifted by that.

One aspect of God watching my back is the blessings of friends He's put into my life over the years. There's no way I'd be where I am or who I am right now if not for that. God is constantly keeping me in check through advice/accountability in my friendships... and always blessing me when I'm able to be a listening ear or a mouthpiece of advice in return... and He brings to light so many lessons learned, that sometimes I don't realize until the moment I'm talking about them, when being there for someone else & giving any advice/help I can. I know that I can't sit there and talk about dealing with a situation in the way Christ would want us to... and then fail to live up to the same words-of-wisdom when I'm faced with a hardship or obstacle in my path.

This summer has been full of great memories, on so many different levels. Hilarious moments, inside jokes, crazy occurrences, amazing conversations, strengthening of friendships, concerts/movies/etc... you name it. But none of that would have any shred of significance without the friends that were a part of every single memory and experience. I can't thank God enough for the people He's brought into my life... new or old. I wake up each morning (or afternoon.....) knowing that I'm not alone.. because God is always in control.. and because He's surrounded me with so many uplifting and outstanding friends to keep me positive and on track with just being me. I'll never be thankful enough.. and that's just how it is.

And that.... is how I shall conclude this blog. Time to embrace some slumber.

Oh, and I'd be ecstatic to have any feedback/comments on this new blog o' mine!

Okay, I'm really done now.

- j a k e -

lyrical excellence via Thiessen

"...Any control I thought I had just slips right through my hands
While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
Reprimands me
Then and there
I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet you love me
And that consumes me
And I'll stand up again
And do so willingly

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light
As I exhale I hear your voice
And I answer you, though I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
Because I love you
Oh God, I love you
And life is now worth living
If only because of you
And when they say that I'm dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth

When I go down
I lift my eyes to you
I won't look very far
Cause you'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again"

- R e l i e n t K "When I Go Down"

imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

if you haven't seen this movie yet.... I question your sanity.. and I'd say I want to show you a magic trick involving a pencil, but you haven't seen the movie.. so you wouldn't fully appreciate the pain I would be putting you through... loser

regardless.. enjoy this spoof of a pivotal scene in the movie

A triumphant return! Or.. a botched attempt from the start?

Greetings, non-existant readers of this here blog!

Tis I, Jake, writing this introductory blog on this fine Monday afternoon. I'm not too sure what to make of this yet.... the idea of getting back to blogging, in any sense, is a bold step for me. (yeah, i bolded the word bold.... how's your mind? blown?) Anyways, the point being... I kept a livejournal account for quite awhile back in high school, and I occasionally blogged on MySpace and Facebook, but nothing lasted on a regular and/or weekly basis. I figure if anything will stick, for me, it would have to be just a straight up blog on what else but Blogger

So there you have it. My overwh... er... uh.. underwhelming return to blogging!

Refer back to this entry's title for the 2 ways this could go.... and that is all.