find a balance

"find a balance"

those 3 words speak volumes for me. there's been so many aspects of my life that have needed a balance, at one point or another. back in high school, i could have really benefited from finding a balance in regards to being social and maintaining my morals/beliefs. for the majority of those years, i was myself outside of those walls... but during school became very introverted & closed off to the majority of those around me, until that bell rang to signal my release. it was very unlike me, and became it's own form of stress just to maintain those defensive blockades. it's borderline shameful, at times, to look back on how much time i wasted caring/worrying about what my fellow classmates thought... especially since i was completely opposite when around my separate group of friends @ youth group & beyond. i can only imagine what such a balance would have resulted in. don't take this as me saying i regret all of that, because i don't. everything happens for a reason in life, and God had a purpose for what i experienced... and has brought me so far since then. i hardly recognize myself, when comparing the past & the present.

fast forward to the college years, and the freedom & liberation has (at times) taken a toll due to an overwhelming amount of social activities & whatnot. finding a balance was very necessary, and almost 2 years ago i began praying that God would help me to slow down & take much-needed steps back so i didn't kill myself in the process. funny how prayer works, because i ended up breaking my leg (a story that's probly been mentioned in a past blog entry). that's definitely one way to slow things down. through that, i definitely developed a balance that still holds true today. i may seem just as busy & always up to something nowadays, but mixed with all the plans & concerts & game nights & whatnot... i take the time to just be alone, whether napping or sitting @ barnes & noble reading or enjoying the outdoors @ yorktown beach or city center. it's very refreshing & God has worked wonders through bring able to keep all the busy chaos in-check.

i actually just woke up from a nap not too long ago, and definitely plan on taking it easy 2nite.... so in case this was long-winded, or jumbled... I blame my relaxed & not-fully-awake mind haha