amusement in 140 or less

here's a sampling of some tweets that i've found particularly amusing in recent times


*davebarnesmusic: Liberty, I've successfully warmed up via stretches, me me mees, and getting slapped in the face with a cold Alaskan salmon. It's go time.

*abbyruth129: there's creepy men in my house. i'm hiding in the bathroom...

*josh_spencer: Is it normal to hear a rogue velociraptor noise while listening to your iPod? I was unaware a Jurassic park was opening in Lynchburg

*ttim123: Awesome i get to go slipper shopping with my dad

*guitarjosh15: I realized this morning that I stand on top of the drain while showering, which makes me a prime target for drain snakes. Dang it.

*johncmayer: When someone tells me a story about their past, I like to imagine them reenacting it with a bad wig and period correct clothes